Too Much

Where is Peace?
From within!
Who's answer is that?

Idealists BS'ers with nothing better to do than scam those with mental unrest.

There is so much this life lacks, but yet I just keep 'seeing' the good that could be.
Why do SO many have to take?
Why is it "I" can not become one of those who think ONLY of themselves??
What is it in "me" that sets me apart from the rest....

Then I realize:

I am and do belong to GOD.
HE is in me.
I do have a purpose and that purpose should please none other than HIM.
Why am I "unpeaceful"?
Because I am flawed and sinful. Sorry to have to admit it, but I am made that way.
Then in my own I perfected the flaws to match this world.
How lost is lost?
How sad is that when I myself know the answer.
The more we know the truth the more we stay in denial.

Why do those in our lives, who may or may NOT care for us the way we want
still think it is perfectly fine to "use" us?
How is it that all the others around us tell us it is "OUR" fault they treat us that way because we "let" them.
Do any of them EVER Hear what they are saying?????
I think NOT.
When is it MY problem that others feel it is okay to abuse ME because they CAN???????????????????
Think about this!!!
Somehow "I" am responsible for EVERY ONES actions against me????
How????
If I treat you nice and you take advantage of it, it is my fault.
If I treat you poorly and take advantage of you, its my fault
If you lie to me and I believe you, its my fault.

How nice it would be to stay locked up in my own little world.
I am not my own
I have a Creator and Saviour that has Grace and Mercy for all.
I am to share His Love
In His Love of Me I am to find PEACE!
My Peace is in GOD
My Rest is in GOD

GOD help me to be more of who I am to be.
Fear is NOT from GOD.

My Heart hurts because I will not accept the truth
My Heart yearns because I will not See
My Soul searches because I will not Follow

I am never alone
I just become like everyone around me and will not pay attention to the ONE giving HIS ALL to me!

Cold is Blooming

Even those of us who know the truth.
Are being miss lead to follow the cold blooming eternal freeze that is growing.
All searching for the Utopia of invisible promise of a doom we are running from.
We do  not even look into mirrors for our own reflections have become fake.
Our minds are ever reaching for love and rejecting it with each breath.
Why do we NOT believe in the truth?
We straddle a line of  'what if' and 'maybe'
The TRUTH is and always has been.
Yet like the chosen we will not accept the easy it is given
We mourn for the pain in which it was achieved
Display talents of song and motions while closing our hearts to the very one we are seeking.
It is my routine to take flight still again
My soul screams for justice of myself
My heart feels the sweet victory that is and can be mine
My flesh burns with hatred and fear of survival

It is cold, ice is forming

March 1, Tuesday, 2011

A new moon will soon be among us.
Darkness has never seem so thick
Cold winds follow us
Evil is close

Not all creatures are weak
For they have an inner light
It shines from within
Even in the darkness of times

We will be delivered
For time does stand still
Hold on
For the Promise is real.

Beginings Bring Change

I was created for far more than I knew at the time. Knowing now what I did not know then makes it difficult to tell the story of my arrival, on the human side.
I was not earthly conceived out of love and kindness. I was born from evil in its' essence.
 A transfiguration of dissect and horror.
To this very day, this moment the answer to the mere "why" is not answered.
I, on the other hand, was created with such treasures that this reality, I could not see and even more amazing, would not penetrate me.
 The vastness of my heart alone was beyond any detection from the evil one.

Memories

Not always the most comforting books to read.
But yet when one grows into themselves these helpful bits and pieces connect dots where dots were never known.
How fortunate I am to have known even at the age of three, that certain behaviors were not correct nor acceptable if the out side world became aware.
Then again, so many will do so much not to "see" the so little that is so horribly wrong.

For now, as the sun slips away from our view to hide till dawn, February 24, 2011, Thursday is coming to an end of light.
I am going to take my wings and rest my soul from searching and enjoy the shadows of the wind.

Day Set

Wednesday, February 23,
Easy to fly with this sun-rise for the winds are up and sweeping across the waters.
Along with is comes a coldness from the things to come.
Most say that the Grim Reaper brings still coldness with him, however that is not always the case.
With out the snows of winter and ice of storms the spring could never come.
Without the Son of Man we will never be saved and released from this perfect storm gone bad.

The Day Of Flight

Tuesday, February 22,  2011,
What the moon has left  is an awesome trail of dust.
Like flecks of diamonds after a jeweler's pain the sun rolled up with a fiery of glow.
Be this as it may the day has been a series of trying to fly through glass.
I can see it, hear it but can not experience the elements of it.
With tired eyes and heavy heart I will wait for the moon to make Her appearance once more.
Plan for a better day.